Women @ Work Newsletter

The Complexity of Confidence   

 

The definition of confidence is not complex. Confidence is the reliability of a person or thing and self-confidence is simply having  belief in oneself.   What is complex, is the way in which confidence is built and maintained and how our self-confidence can be eroded by experiences and relationships in our lives.

 

Self confidence, or the lack thereof, is affected by our lived experiences from early childhood and on through all the stages of our lives.

 

Two things contribute directly to the development of our self-confidence:

1. self-efficacy and 2. self-esteem.  We gain self-efficacy by practicing and acquiring skills. As we acquire skills we receive feedback from others in our lives about our ability to perform. This  feedback and our response to it, develops into the internal belief system we hold about ourselves and who we believe we are. Self-esteem is the value we place on who we believe we are. Our self-esteem is influenced by our  experience and our sense of self-efficacy.    

 

Self confidence is important. A self-confident person inspires confidence in others and we know that gaining the confidence of others contributes to both personal and professional success. 

 

Increasing our self-confidence is possible. That can be achieved most directly by living intentionally according to our convictions, by being purposeful about our actions, by making good decisions and by accomplishing what we set out to do.

 

Eroding our self-confidence is also possible. We undermine our confidence whenever we accept the status quo, when we do not challenge ourselves, when we live incongruently with our principles and when we allow what others think to influence our choices. 

 

Make 2010 the year you intentionally build confidence. Here are some tips: 

 

1.  Identify your life purpose, principles and plan. Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve through living your life. Consider how you want to "show up" in this life?  What are the principles that guide how you live and how you work? What is your plan - short term, medium and long term?  Write it down. Talk about it with the significant people in your life. You will be pleasantly surprised by the power of this kind of intention.

 

2.  Stifle your inner critic.  Begin by taking some time to pay attention to that nasty little voice in your head that feeds your insecurities and your feelings of inferiority.  What is the gremlin saying?   Write it down. Then trash that inner voice by doing some research with friends and loved ones.  Ask them how they perceive you. What do they see as your strengths?  

 

3.  Seek new challenges. Learn a new skill.  What was your latest challenge to yourself?  Consider taking on a project or doing something this year that will push your limits and enhance your competencies. It doesn't have to be big; it just needs to stretch you.  For example, plan to enhance your public speaking skills.  Sign up for Toastmasters or a Dale Carnegie course.   Enhanced communication is a proven method for building self-confidence. 

 

4.  Examine your image.   What is the image you intentionally portray to others?  How do you walk and carry yourself?   What is the impact of your energy on those around you?  Are you engaged, exciting, funny, intelligent?  How do you look? How do you dress?   Never underestimate the power of image.  Be intentional about yours.

 

Living intentionally and authentically provide a solid foundation for confidence.  It is my hope that 2010 will truly be a year of confidence for you.

              Kathleen     

 

 

 

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